the sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down...

"brick wall" Ansco shur shot, 120 Kodakchrome EEG, iso 100 (crossed-processed)

"The world was a good place to buy in. It seemed like a fine philosophy. In five years, I thought, it will seem just as silly as all the other fine philosophies I've had."

Jack Barnes, from THE SUN ALSO RISES by Ernest Hemingway

I just finished The Sun Also Rises about an hour ago. This quote in particular got me.

We all have a "philosophy" we live by. Some ideology, philosophy or religion governs the way we act and live in this world. For some it is selfishness, others it's selflessness. Some believe in God, others do not. Some are moved by patriotism, others are ashamed of their country.

One thing is certain-our beliefs evolve. They change; they grow as we do. Even one with an ardent faith see events in new light throughout their life, and they certainly can say that what they thought to be true in their younger years was a bit "silly." Although the root of their faith or ideal is the same, their understanding and reaction to that faith changes. I am confident that any reader of this post can agree with me. When I reflect, i can see these philosophies that have governed my days and laugh a little, and cringe...

What governs me now? What belief do i use as a guide and hold so dear in the present will fade away in the future?

It scares me. I feel doomed never to really know what to buy into...

Old ladies

"old lady 1 and 2" Ansco Shur Shot, 120 Kodakchrome EEG 100 iso (cross processed)

I want to do a series of old ladies walking around on the sidewalk, not knowing their photo is being taken. I took these photos a few weeks ago with a camera not really fit for what i wanted to capture, but it was all i has at the time. I am happy with how these came out, and it did inspire me to take more pictures of this sort, with better equipment.

it is just so damn expensive...

sorry...

"Gracie" Kiev 88cm, 120 Kodakchrome EEG 100 (cross-processed)

Sorry...

I have been slacking on the blog.

This is gracie, my friend daughter.

more to come, i promise.

A few observations...

"Hey Pauly..." Lubitel 166B, 120 Expired Konica 400 ISO

A few things that caught my attention yesterday...

The sign in the yard said "Free Dandelions"
It should say "Free Leaves"
The dandelions are all gone...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It is hard to write on a bus.
Sometimes it is hard to ride on a bus

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A five year old girl got on the bus today with her mother and little sister. She had a horse in her hands and life in her eyes. Everyone one on the bus saw this life, except the men right behind me in the very back. They were being very crude and loud in their talk. Everyone on the bus could hear the fuck word. Even the little girl. The bus driver stopped the bus and asked them to keep in down. "There are children on the bus," he said. The bus driver, an older and handsome man, didn't want to see the life diminish from the little girls eyes. I didn't want to see it either. The men behind me were angry. I smiled...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I walked up to table 101 to greet the ladies that were sat in my section in the cafe.

"Hello ladies," I said " How are you two doing today?"

"I am wasted on Vicodin," The seventy year old lady said, doped out of her mind. (it was 11:05 am as well)

"That's great," i said "Would you like a glass of wine then?"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

1246 SE 49th Ave has 12 pumpkins on the porch. I don't know why this is important.

Front Row Seats

"The Painted Lock" Lubitel 166B, 120 expired Koniica, 400 iso.

"Front Row Seats," by Jambo Land

With a voice that commands the children to disarm and disband:
"Lay down your sticks, enough with your evil and nasty tricks
Leave that tree alone, I said leave that fucking tree alone, it needs to grow
Soon it will be the end of days and I desire a place to rest my head in the shade..."

I demand nothing less
than front row seats
to the apocalypse

With a voice that commands the cowards to rise up and and stand:
"You have been so weak, now its time you really acted meek
For the heroes and the brave have lost their footing, they have lost their place
This time is your own, hurry and take the throne built from the ashes of your whimpers of your cries of your moans..."

For faith is just religions way
of dealing with all the shit
you can't explain

and all my friends must think that i get off on blasphemy
but let me tell you the truth, my head has always believed
it's just that i embrace this little easy thing, you might have heard of it, it's called neutrality
So this is the very best way I can offer up some symmetry.

With a voice that commands the innocent to cut off their hands:
"You've made no mistakes, buy even you can't escape your pleasure, so lets take some preventative measures..."

The Traveler's Feet and A Moveable Feast

"The Traveler's Feet" Lubitel 166B, 120 Kodakchrome EEG 100 iso (crossed-processed)

"Can I sit here?" the man asked.

"Of course," I said, with what i believe to be an inviting look on my face.

He sat and read his article on the blazers. Nich was involved in science fiction book as I was discovering the greatness of A Moveable Feast. We all drank our coffee. Some time passed. We read.
I said my goodbye to Nich and made my way out of the busy coffee shop. I put on my scarf in advance, ready for the air outside. Brisk but welcoming. The trees in the city were (and are still) putting on a show for anyone willing to take the time and just look. "slow down, and enjoy..."
Walking by the park, i stopped and watched some children playing baseball. A kid slid into home base. Not so much the "true" baseball slide, but more like sliding on an icy sidewalk, or freshly waxed hardwood floors in socks. Standing up, but with limited control. Everything was how it had to be. I smiled, tucked Hemingway into my back pocket, and kept on...

i am thankful. I am blessed

I am way to content for this time of year...

Jeff and Cannery row (he lost his umbrella)

"Jeff and Cannery Row" Diana F+, 120 Expired Konica iso 400

fall is here. summer is gone...

ten things i wish to do fairly soon...

1- finish my portfolio.
2- do some of those photography projects i always talk about.
3- read "Dead Souls" by Gogol
4- vote
5- experience all the wonderful things Portland has to offer that I haven't got around to yet (powpow, I am dragging you along with me)
6-have a beard
7-learn to fly
8- apply to school (i need to do this)
9- start running
10- be awesome, all the time.