foggy days, tow trucks, and cult members (what a scary pass)

what was that?
something that i forgot?
something on yet another walk home
after a night that seems to be
the most important night of
this life of mine?

What did i forget?
what would i say?
what would happen if
given the opportunity to utter
"i am willing to loose for you?"

"timing is everything..."
who heard that?
who heard that spoken from my mouth?
like a champ,
i saw you dance
exposed to me.
not your skin,
but your soul.
an openness i wish
i had the bravery to show to
at least one other soul.
the false guilt of who i was.

what if...
what if...

what if i had this compass back then?
this compass of now?
Oh, i would have said "of course"
on that beach

and saying "of course "
might have saved us
on that foggy day,
but the truth is
it took realizing the truth
of this shit show we pitter-patter in
is bogus.
if then was now
i would have been all game
to sink into that sand
on the foggy beach
with you

"keep your thought to your self, joseph!,"
yells the keeper of reason.

"where has reason gotten me?"
reason has lost me my god,
and i will never find him again

"oh no no no
Joseph, be a bit more discrete
don't be the fool
for those who can't understand
what you have seen."

but why hide what is true to me?

so, without further ado,
my manifesto folks,
my truth...

if you want the best for your lovers
and loved ones,
if you can say that truth
without doubt,
then ruin yourself
for someone else
do something destructive
you don't agree with,
because the smile of a person
you care for is enough
to heal your self-affliction...