2010... you are mine for the taking

'hey joesph,
wipe that shit-eating grin off
your damn face"

but good god,
why?
life, will you not let me look forward to this?
honestly,
i have no expectations
can't i enjoy this...

i am smiling
not that i haven't recently
( i have learned to smile at the shit)
but the hope...
the possibility of a good time
at least.

hallelujah

really,
i need you, those who care for my
well being, my vulnerability,
my good-nature ,
those who have loved me,
for you to let me have this,
a life without "what are the risk?"

I have weighed the risk all my life.
i can't ( i wont, i refuse!!) think about what i will next
trip on

let me fall, if need be.
it will be a "what a fall"
a hard one,
but in that fall i will wear a coat of joy
so wonderful
so worth it

i will grin my way to the grave
if need be...